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Weekend B-Movie Pick: Robogeisha

In the tradition of Japanese B-movies such as The Machine Girl and Tokyo Gore Police, Robogeisha continues to raise the needle on the WTF-o-meter to levels so over-the-top that it’s simply hilarious. If you’re a B-movie fan like me who thinks tons of slapstick gore is funny, and you’ve enjoyed my previous Tokyo Shock reviews, here’s another instant classic for your B-Movie nights.

If you’re unfamiliar with this type of movie, it would be an understatement to call it “imaginative”. These movies play out like ultra-violent, live-action cartoons. Remember that weird shit you saw in some random anime at your friend’s house? Multiply that by ten and you’ve got Robogeisha. With crazy characters lactating their foes to death, stabbing fried shrimp into their eye sockets, sucking face with mouth saws, or dueling with butt-swords, this flick had me laughing from start to finish.

The plot centers on Kikue and Yoshie, two Geisha sisters that work for a steel tycoon known as Kageno, who is secretly developing an army of Lin Kuei-like cyber assassins, disguised as Geishas. While performing Kageno’s dirty work, Yoshie discovers that Kageno may not have been entirely honest about her missions, and uncovers a plot to destroy Japan by having a giant robot (with the inexplicable ability to punch buildings and make them splatter blood everywhere) drop a nuclear bomb into Mt. Fuji, effectively destroying all of Japan in order to build his vision of a perfect world.

Sounds silly, right? Well, if it isn’t silly, it probably isn’t a B-movie, so look elsewhere if it sounds too goofy for you. For the rest of you, enjoy the (NSFW) trailer here, and click on the poster above, or the link at the bottom of the page to add this movie to your Netflix Instant Queue.

Watch “Robogeisha” Now!

Weekend B-Movie Pick: The Video Dead

Despite my better judgment, I’ve decided to post another B-movie review this week. At this rate, maybe I can continue doing them.

This week’s selection is one that nearly every B-movie lover has probably seen sitting on the shelf of their local video store (Do those still exist? I feel old now), but probably didn’t bother to pick it up, since the general rule of thumb is that the movies with awesome covers are generally crap in a pretty box. Thankfully, there’s some fun to be had with this one, even if it’s one of the more unconventional zombie movies I’ve seen.

I’m not the first person to review this movie, as BadMovies.org and I-Mockery have beaten me to it long ago, with much more detailed and amusing reviews than mine. However, since the movie recently became available on Netflix, those of you who don’t have access to a video store full of old horror VHS tapes can finally watch it from the comfort of your own couch. After all, that’s the purpose of these short weekly articles. I may not be as in-depth or funny with my reviews, but I like to introduce people to some old and new B-movie classics that are available for streaming on Netflix. If you’re entertained by even one movie that I share a link to, then I’ve done my job.

Anyway… on to the movie. The premise of the movie is about as ridiculous as most, with a writer getting a TV delivered to his house, despite having never ordered one. Not one to turn down a free TV, he sets it up in his home, and learns that it plays a B-movie called “Zombie Blood Nightmare” constantly. Naturally, things start to go wrong as the zombies come out of the TV and terrorize the neighborhood.

What really sets this movie apart from other bad zombie movies is the behavior of the zombies themselves. Instead of being the usual braindead, slow-moving flesh eaters, these zombies seem to prefer killing for fun, and the people they kill do not become zombies. I’ll admit, I thought it was odd seeing this for the first few minutes, but once the zombies started laughing after turning on a blender, I realized that the movie had a strange sense of humor that I would enjoy.

While it certainly didn’t win any awards, The Video Dead is still a fun zombie flick worth checking out, and if you have a Netflix account, you really don’t have any excuse to not watch it. Check the link below to add it to your instant queue or stream it immediately.

Watch “The Video Dead” on Netflix

Weekend B-Movie Pick: Drive Thru

That’s right, folks. It’s time for my Weekend B-Movie Picks to make their triumphant return. This time, we’re showcasing a movie that I’ve been waiting for Netflix to start streaming for a long time. One of my personal favorite B-movies of the past few years, Drive Thru is one of those flicks that I never get tired of watching. The villain, Horny the Clown, is the mascot of the fast food chain “Hella Burger”, known for such artery-clogging foods as the “Hella-normous Half Pounder”.

The story is your typical slasher revenge trope, nerdy kid gets bullied by the popular kids for being different, the popular kids stage a cruel prank on the nerdy kid which causes a fatal accident, nerdy kid becomes a vengeful ghoul in a clown suit and murders the now grown-up popular kids’ teenage children. We’ve all been there before, right? The thing I enjoy most about this movie obviously isn’t its originality, as we’ve seen this sort of thing many times before. It’s the fact that it’s all done in that fun, cheesy, self-referential humorous fashion that makes it a fun movie to watch alone or with friends.

The movie contains a lot of throwbacks to the 1980s, which as I’m sure you all know, is where some of the best horror movies and toys came from. Horny the Clown communicates with the stereotypical 17-year-old virgin “final girl” type, Mackenzie through classic 80s toys like the Etch-a-Sketch and Magic 8-ball, warning her of what’s going to happen next. Of course, this leads to some funny, and always entertaining kills, which is always the most important part of a fun slasher movie. No matter how many ways I watch someone get killed with a microwave, it never stops being funny. Throw in plenty of stoners getting wasted (both metaphorically and literally), and tongue-in-cheek cameos from people like Morgan Spurlock, creator of “Super Size Me”, and you’re in for a good time.

Check out the red-band trailer for the movie below, which, depending on where you work, could be considered NSFW. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.